(The following entry is written by Melissa, an All Nations field worker)…
Have you ever started your day with one more piece of disappointing news and in that very moment realized that you have been in a season of disappointment?
Disappointed that things have not worked out the way you thought they would or should.
Disappointed in your lack of abilities to change the outcomes you face. Disappointed in your own failures and shortcomings.
And just like that. You realize that you are knee-deep in a struggle.
I found myself face to face with that disappointment this week which made me feel embarrassed, ashamed and angry with myself for having these feelings. I mean, I should be strong enough to face these struggles and not feel like heading for the hills, right? Yet, there I was, weak and vulnerable and hating how I was feeling.
I reached out to a friend who said, “His provision and strength is sure… the ease is not…”
But, how do I handle the disappointments? Am I only thinking about myself and what I want? How do I find peace and rest in all the unknowns and uncertainties of life? How do I give myself grace for my weaknesses and learn from them instead?
Then… Who do You want me to be? How do You want me to handle this? What am I to learn from this season in life?
Struggles and disappointments in life are always right around the corner. They are what help us to grow stronger. They cause us to stop and look at what we might be doing wrong. They humble us and force us to keep our eyes on what’s most important.
Once I cut through all the surface crap and dig deep enough to seek out his wisdom, I find He has already provided everything I need to get past this discouragement. His love, forgiveness, and grace are mine.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73: 26
I have found the silver lining in disappointment. I have found:
The Love I need to be less petty or selfish and a new desire to serve others.
The Strength to get up when I fall, dust myself off and start again.
The Courage to admit when I am wrong and ask for forgiveness.
The Hope in Papa that everything is under his control and I can trust Him.
The Joy of resting in His promises and enjoying His peace.
So, even though I found myself face to face with my own struggles this week.
I count myself blessed to have this season to reflect on what God has proved and who He wants me to become. I am so grateful that He cares enough to stretch and change us.